At this point I'm starting to get used to the heat, our routine, etc. Today we went back to Cite Soleil with the water truck. It was a cluttered, claustrophobic, pandemonium-like array of chaos! :) Pushing, shoving, more jammed fingers, lots of "budging" and getting out of line. It was good to be at the hose again. It was almost a way for me to stay focused, busy. Sometimes I felt myself closing off, whether it was because of the clinginess and constant touching and begging to be held. I work with babies at home! I love babies and all children. This just got to be a tad too much. I think my fear of not knowing how to handle the situation and turn it away kindly and respectfully got in the way.
At the water stop, while we were waiting to refill the truck for a second run, I had the opportunity to conduct my FIRST NURSING INTERVENTION AS AN RN!!! I was beaming with joy. My heart yearned to have this opportunity. A Haitian worker onsite came up to the top-top asking if someone could clean the wound on his hand. Our team leader stated there was a nurse who could maybe help. I immediately agreed and took out the first aid kit. I donned gloves and went to see my patient! He had an index finger laceration--not wide, but deep enough I could see raw skin, dirt, and gravel in the crack. I did my best to clean the area and then placed a medicated gauze roll into the laceration. I then bandaged him up and instructed him on what to do, with the help of the translators. The man was so grateful, even though, in my heart, I yearned to tell him more, to provide more care. That was one of my most rewarding moments.
We showered after doing a second run in a different part of the slum, then changed and headed downtown Port au Prince to the general hospital, the only public hospital that remained intact and open during the 2010 earthquake. The conditions were unbearable to us all, but to me as a nurse on a more personal level. We were instructed to stay with any babies who didn't have parents with them in the wing, but many of the parents were seated next to the cribs. You saw garbage cans piled high with supplies, needles, body fluid that was not contained. No sharps containers. No gloves. Water for bottles being stored in old ethyl alcohol containers...you wonder about the sterility of NG tubes and G tubes...the HEAT alone was enough to make worse any condition. The looks in the eyes of the babies, the children, said "Please help me....do something, anything..." It was too much to handle...made you so raw inside that you leave expressionless, emotionless, speechless. I didn't have time to process. You try NOT to think about medical conditions back in the States, the rules, laws, and regulations for patient safety and cleanliness...infection control? All out the window. They are doing the best they can with what they have. It made me feel helpless.
There have been many hard parts of this trip. They have been emotional, relational, physical, mental, spiritual......
EMOTIONAL- seeing the way the Haitians live, my heart breaks for the conditions, for the babies, the children, the poverty, the elders, the abandonment, and so much more....my heart has truly been broken for what breaks God's heart.
PHYSICAL- adjusting to the heat, poor hygiene, lack of preventive care, lack of knowledge about health conditions and healthy eating
RELATIONAL- relating with the team has been AWESOME; but out in the community sometimes it's hard, in a new place, not to be too cautious or paranoid
SPIRITUAL- this is not a trip for evangelism. It is developing a relationship with the Haitians that fosters love and trust and service so that they can SEE we are the hands and feet of Christ
PERSEVERANCE- If the Haitians can live this way, I certainly can for 7 days. I can put aside my differences, the comparisons to home, and soak up the joyous struggles of here and now.
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