Hope Lives On

The Lord never fails to amaze me. Once again, I spent the semester worrying about finding an internship. Given that He made me wait until my materials were nearly due, He still provided, and I am grateful. I've realized a lot about where He wants me to go and who He wants me to be working with. I had to give up everything that I wanted for myself, in order for Him to reveal Himself through me. Because I did that, I knew something was going to happen- something big. We may feel that we were designed with our own dreams, desires, and hopes. We think we know what we want, and we go for it. But how many times have we begun the race at full speed, only to trip over a pebble in the dirt? How could something so small throw us off completely? Maybe it's something like love, or realizing the Lord calling you to serve in another country. Maybe it's realizing you have to leave everything behind to pursue something different. How many times have we had to look back and ask what went wrong? I know I've had to do this more than I've wanted to. The Lord loves me, and He has graciously given me mercy in this world. He has given me the rights to who I am, yes, but ultimately I have to give it back.

I have read time and time again that we cannot stay the way we are and go with God. We can try, but we fail. And when we fail- when we lose our way- we fall to our knees. Sometimes the only way the soul can cry out is in this position. I have been broken down the past year. Exactly 12 months ago my life was a shred away from being nothing, and I was on my knees. I tried to give the Lord everything I could, but it made things even more painful. I asked God why I had to experience things, and what joy He could possibly obtain from watching me suffer. But the thing is, we all suffer. To every degree, life is not perfect. It will never be perfect. Learning to accept trials and tribulations, as 2 Corinthians 12:10 says- "Because of Christ, I am pleased in weaknesses, insults, catastrophes, persecutions and pressures. For when I am weak, I am strong."

This was something I came up with and wrote tonight. I have times when I have a pen and paper in my hand seconds before I lose what I was thinking. I know I can't put music to it, but it really spoke to me. It made me think about where I was the second week of August, when I came to school. I was miserable, asking myself if I could even make it until Thanksgiving. And now Thanksgiving is nearly here, and I have 5 weeks until everything changes drastically. I wasn't sure how I felt about it, but I know God has a plan through it all.

Are you lost
Are you down
Are you wondering if it's worth it

I've been there
I know the pain that comes with waiting
You can get through this

There is light
There is strength
The Lord's love increases
And hope lives on

We question why
We must experience life
In order to get somewhere

We think we know it all
We can get through it alone
Sacrifice others for ourselves

There is light
There is strength
The Lord's love increases
And hope lives on

There will be a day
Because the Lord wastes nothing
He has created life from chaos

He has sustained us
Given us love and mercy
When we have deserved none

There is light
There is strength
The Lord's love increases
And hope lives on

There is understanding
There is compassion
The Lord's love believes in us
And hope lives on