Disappointments

That is why, for Christ's sake, I am please in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong. -2 Corinthians 12:10

I lie down and sleep; I wake again because the Lord sustains me. -Psalm 3:5

In the morning, Lord, You hear my voice; in the morning I lay my requests before You and wait in expectation. -Psalm 5:3

Wait for the Lord; be strong and take heart and wait for the Lord. -Psalm 27:14

We wait in hope for the Lord; for He is our help and our shield. -Psalm 33:20

Be still before the Lord and wait patiently for Him; do not fret when men succeed in their ways, when they carry out their wicked schemes. -Psalm 37:7

I wait for You, Lord, and You will answer, O Lord my God. -Psalm 38:15

I waited patiently for the Lord; He turned to me and heard my cry. -Psalm 40:1

For Your name's sake, O Lord, preserve my life; in Your righteousness, bring me out of trouble. In Your unfailing love, silence my enemies and destroy my foes, for I am Your servant. -Psalm 143: 11

Yet the Lord longs to be gracious to you; He rises to show you compassion. For the Lord is a God of Justice. Blessed are all who wait for Him! -Isaiah 30:18

I say to myself, "The Lord is my portion, therefore I will wait for Him." -Lamentations 3:24

If you accept My words and store up My commands with you, turning your ear to wisdom and applying your heart to understanding, and if you call out for insight and cry aloud for understanding, and if you look for it as for silver and search for it as for hidden treasure, then you will understand the fear of the Lord and find the knowledge of God. -Proverbs 2:1-5

Oh, Lord, I know I haven't much acted like one of Your servants, that's for sure. I stumble headfirst into a brand new disappointment at 10:42 last night, and I lose it. I even cry--which never happens-- and I call my mom around eleven-thirty, feeling awful to wake her up. I feel the room closing in around me and do not understand what is happening anymore. For a brief second I tell myself that I should give up--that I am done tying-- and then I nearly hit myself, knowing that is not what You require of me. You will continue to sustain me and uphold me with Your hand, even though I feel as if everything around me is crashing down. I have to keep getting on my knees with my hands folded, tears in my eyes, and crying out to You. I need understanding and clarification, that which can only come abundantly from You. And looking at all the above verses about being patient and waiting for You--serving You while I wait--I must take those to heart, especially this summer. Serve You while I'm waiting. I have no peace in my heart, Lord, and I pray to You with everything that is in me for peace; an abundant, overflowing peace that drowns my heart. That is what I ask of You, Lord--that I would search for peace like silver and find that You are enough for me.