Come to Jesus

It's time for me to come back to You, Jesus. I don't want to say that I left Your side. But I wasn't coming to You like I should have been. I've been so lost for so long. This year has been nothing but a cycle of health problems and disappointments concerning my future, my schedule, internships, relationships, and friends. I've been so discouraged that my soul was literally on its knees trying to reach You, but unsuccessfully so. Forgive me! I understand that, even when times are like they are, I can't let go of You and Your love! You will restore me, and I can't let my faith trickle! I hate to admit that it took me until tonight- or recently- to realize that I've been drowning here. I want to be on fire for You again! I want to free fall into Your loving arms and hear You tell me everything is going to be alright; that if I surrender my plans to You, You will take care of the rest. I want to experience Your limitlessness and Your crazy grace! Oh, how I need to give You everything I've been carrying! I've been collecting it all and tossing it into this bag. It's breaking my shoulders! It's all making me weak. It's making me turn away from You. This spiritual warfare I've been battling, Father, take it away. I give You all of me. Give me back the fire that was so central to my being; the fire that was at the core of me; the fire that allowed me to praise You even in despair.

We heard an amazing speaker tonight- Eric Ludy- and he has written at least 12 books with his wife, Leslie, one of which many people in our ministry are reading. He came and spoke to UNC Christian Challenge and Navigators tonight about...essentially, God's CRAZY and out-of-this-world love! He gave us analogies that assisted us in our view of Christianity. He discussed the fact that Christianity is not being lived out as it was intended- that it is warped. We live today based on experience, rather than truth. The Word of God remains unchanging, yet we choose to believe in other things. In essence, "God's Word is epic, but Christianity today is not epic." He told us that God defines truth, while we are only to submit to it without question. The passion he has for Christ is astounding. He grips you with his words like a fish and reels you in. It makes you just feel good and on fire for Christ. It brings a smile to your face. So that is what I needed, and God knew that. He knew I needed restoration tonight. So I praise Him for that. He is a crazy God who loves ME like crazy. And what did I do to deserve that? Even more apparent after writing this, ABSOLUTELY NOTHING!