He Equips Those He Calls

So I was sick again this week! Crazy how working at daycare makes you sick...over and over and OVER again. Nonetheless, I still love my little babies more than life. Anyway, in the hassle of being sick I happened to remember about my invite to a house church tonight. It's called Communitas--that is, fellowship in the Holy Spirit. It's church. In a home. It's a wonderful place of fellowship, charisma, you name it. It's very eclectic and encouraging. It gives you the chance to delve into worship any way you want. That's something I've been thinking about lately. The last time I found myself completely surrounded in worship was when I was helping lead it back in Colorado. I was in Bible study, going to two church services a week, doing Bible studies on my own and in group, discipleship, it was quite wonderful--and overwhelming. I continued to do those things for a long time, even when I moved back to Minnesota. But it started to feel more like a routine. I knew my "way" to worship-- that is, the form in which worship is just Home-- is when my arms are wrapped around myself and I'm swaying to good worship music. Home is where I can close my eyes and get lost in the lyrics--when no one is looking at each other, or thinking about anything other than God's presence. But how could I incorporate that into each day? Sure, I'm always singing and whenever I'm in my car I'm trying to sing to six different stations at the same time. That's my tendency. But how can I make it...better? It's still a struggle. All I can do is pray to be shown--to be awakened--how God wants. I know He will answer. I just have to listen. It was just great to be back in a place where the atmosphere was filled with voices of people doing different things. I felt welcomed. It brought back memories of ministry in Colorado. We talked about marketplace ministry--being the hands and feet of Jesus wherever we go. We dove into some of the paradigms of what it means to be a "priest" in everyday life. Yes, there are pulpit priests--but we are ALL priests. We are all called by God to fulfill the Great Commission. We are all called by God to bring light to the dark places. It's not just something people did back then. It's here and now. We discussed why Jesus was such a great evangelist--because He immersed Himself in the sea of people around Him. He equips the called! I felt like a small piece of me that's been missing was put back in place. I'm excited to continue going here to see what things God has in store!

I pray out of His glorious riches He may strengthen you with power through His Spirit in your inner being, so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith. And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the saints, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge -- that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God. [He] is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to His power that is at work within us. -Ephesians 3:16-20

Who I Am

"The place God calls you to is where your deep gladness and the world's deep hunger meet."

I continue to be amazed at all the things God shows me in a day; even if I don't leave my house (which I haven't today, since I'm sick). Nonetheless, God has still created me to be an internal and thoughtful person; sometimes so much that I just brood over things like poverty, blessings, people, the meaning of life, where I see myself in the future, how I want to help people, etc. The list goes on and on. I keep a running bucket list in the back of my mind yet not on paper; and I am slowly finding myself completing this bucket list. 

I keep singing this song in my head: "Who I Am" by Jason Gray. It's just a miraculous song that lets me know that I belong to God. Even when I have days when I'm happy and content, I must never forget that my good deeds, if any, are still like rags to the Lord. I'm still NOTHING without Him. I must never be above anything. The Lord must always be above. The lyrics just strike me as humble. Sometimes we all need a reminder of whose we are...and we are ALWAYS God's.

Every line of this song speaks to me in a way that brings my life experiences--past and present--to where I am now in my life. I've gone through countless "dry spells," if that's what you call it--and I'm not ashamed to say that I've endlessly failed in all my attempts to follow the Lord. I wake up in the morning and look in the mirror and don't like what or who I see more days than not; I forget what grace is. I forget what mercy is. Then I realize I'm living in it. Every breath I breathe is one that I don't deserve, yet here I am being given a chance! Perhaps the most important line in this song to me is this: "Afraid I'll never be enough/Remind me who I am/If I'm Your beloved/Can You help me believe it." I know, just like so many of you, what it's like to feel you're the only person walking Earth despite the fact that there are millions of people roaming the planet. We just need to be reminded that we need God--that even if there really were NO people on Earth, God is enough. Learn to be fully content--consumed--in His crazy love for YOU!

When I lose my way,
And I forget my name,
Remind me who I am.
In the mirror all I see,
Is who I don't wanna be,
Remind me who I am.
In the loneliest places,
When I can't remember what grace is.

Tell me once again who I am to You,
Who I am to You.
Tell me lest I forget who I am to You,
That I belong to You.
To You.

When my heart is like a stone,
And I'm running far from home,
Remind me who I am.
When I can't receive Your love,
Afraid I'll never be enough,
Remind me who I am.
If I'm Your beloved,
Can You help me believe it.

Tell me once again who I am to You,
Who I am to You, whoa.
Tell me lest I forget who I am to You.
That I belong to You.
To You.

I'm the one you love,
I'm the one you love,
That will be enough,
I'm the one you love.

Tell me once again who I am to You.
Who I am to You.
Tell me lest I forget who I am to You,
That I belong to You, oh.

Tell me once again who I am to You.
Who I am to You.
Tell me lest I forget who I am to You,
That I belong to You.
To You.