Life Throws You Curves

Oh, goodness. How long it's been since I've had time to write; and whether it's time or anything to say, I suppose, is the question. I suppose that there really isn't a lot to say. The past month and a half has been quite crazy, to be truthful, with preparing for my internship, being ALL done with school (but not walking until May), and deciding on a graduate program. Since August, I've really been praying about going into ministry. I had tried to start off in so many other directions and felt the Lord was calling me to this- for good- this time. But as my doubts always seem to throw me off course, there as an influx of people asking, "Well, what about this and what about these things?" and I kind of went a little crazy. I surely thought that something so relative to being the hands and feet of Jesus would be fulfilling in that way; but of course we always battle spiritual warfare, since it is our commoners that question us. Proverbs 16: 2-3 reads, "All a man's ways seem innocent to him, but motives are weighed by the Lord. Commit to the Lord whatever you do, and your plans WILL succeed." How merciful is the Lord upon us that all we must do is commit to the Lord; submit to Him out of love and fear for who He is; and we will succeed. This, again, doesn't always mean "success" in the tangible ways we want it to- money, praise of other men, etc. But the joy of the Lord will be our strength. That was something I forgot when, out of NOWHERE, I felt God calling me back into Nursing. Am I crazy? I quit Nursing for a reason; of course those reason related to comparing myself and telling myself I wasn't smart enough to be admitted to the program. I was a hard worker, but I didn't see any tangible evidence that I would be able to maintain the grades. So I started thinking about music or ministry or something. I graduated with a B.S. in Human Services, Community Health, and Nutrition. But where am I going with that? Through all of this, I have felt a tug on my heart that my desire is to serve the Lord in travel, by caring for people. My ideal career setting is ministry, yes- but the ministry field is everywhere- I want to be in a hospital. I am willing to work very hard again to try to succeed in this, even though it will be painful, no doubt. I am trying to feel as confident as I can this time, about where the Lord is calling me. The thing is: don't question the Lord. He will lead your paths straight. He always does!