I broke the cardinal rule (as the seasons go) and blared some Christmas music in my car yesterday! Woo! I apologize, but I had to. It seems I start listening to it earlier every year. I wonder why. Anyway, Christmas music is just one of those little joys that comes with the changing seasons. It's like when the coffee shops bring out their Christmas blends and Christmas cups. I guess I've been struggling to find some good little thing each day. It's been really hard for me, especially recently. But I think continuing to pray that the Lord provides just what I need to get through one day before the next, will help me. I know it's helped so far. I went and got fitted for my skating dress for the show yesterday, and just thinking about the performances in December was enough to make me smile, because skating makes me happy. It was enough to listen to awesome praise and worship music and fellowship with friends last night, too. We talked about vulnerability and what it means to release those burdens we carry around. Isn't a relief to know that there are people out there going through the SAME things we are? Yes! Lamentations 3:22 reads, "Because of the Lord's great love we are not consumed, for His compassions never fail." Amen. I need that Scripture everyday! And Philippians 4:6 says, "In everything you do, by prayer and petition, make your requests known to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus." Mm. SO GOOD. This just tells of the Lord's heart and what He wants for us. He loves us too much to watch us suffer from things of this world. As Christians, we're supposed to bear each other's burdens. We're supposed to be the hands and feet of Jesus, reaching out to those we see around us who need help. We're blessed to be blessings!

Smiles Are the Best Medicine

It's been an emotionally charged weekend to say the least. Saturday night I watched To Save a Life. I remember wanting to see it when it came out last winter, and never had the chance to. The synopsis: "Jake is the most popular kid in school and has a promising future, but his world is rocked when tragedy strikes his childhood best friend. Now Jake is forced to ask, 'Could I have saved him?' With help from a few new friends, he embarks on a journey to live a life of purpose, knocking down the sacred social barriers of high school life and befriending a loner, Jonny Garcia. But when Jonny's life spirals out of control, will Jake have what it takes to stop him from the same tragic end? Can one person really make a difference?"

I know, it sounds like your typical "Save me" story, right? But it's not. And considering that the issues this film covers are up close and personal to me, I really think it's a call to Christians and non-Christians alike. For Christians, it's a call to step up our game; to be intentional; to recognize and ultimately love each and every person around us. Smiles are the best medicine, aren't they? They can conceal almost anything going on in life, which are normally the things that bring our lives swirling and twirling down to the ground. But for non-Christians, it's a call to recognize a need for Christ that we all have. Sometimes we just need to hit rock bottom before we recognize that the only one who can solve our problems, love us for who we are, and heal us in every way, is Jesus. This life of following Christ has nothing to do with being perfect, but everything to do with being broken and admitting the need to fall on your knees for Jesus. It really is about asking, "What can I do?" Let me tell you-- it's so easy to feel like one measly little person in the midst of nearly seven billion-- but we're capable of so much more than we are aware of. I used to tell myself, "You're going to travel the world someday and make a difference." I mean, I defined difference as living in some foreign country and, oh, bringing medical care to people or something. I never thought that smiling at someone or asking them about their day-- asking, "How are you REALLY doing?" would be making a difference. My eyes were once again opened this weekend and I found the source of this passion-- serving those who are in opposition without a voice, the depressed, the hopeless-- that only comes from Jesus. I praise Him that I overcame because of Him, and that I am able to look back at my experiences and fall to my knees in surrender.

God's Beauty

Can I just get an AMEN for God's beauty? Please? His majesty is everywhere! Flying in to Minneapolis today-- seeing the sun pouring in through the windows on the plane-- was so beautiful! I just wanted to jump out and parachute the rest of the way! It's warm (surprising, since we pretty much live in snow year round here), and the changing leaves are just astounding. I went outside with the camera today, and just sat on the grass and shot for about a half an hour. It's so great to be back home, where it's familiar. I know this is going to be a weekend to refresh, and hopefully I'll be ready to head back to school on Monday. I praise God for what He has been doing in my life! I have an interview tomorrow with The Emily Program, and I am praying that this works out! I have realized a lot of things about myself the past few weeks, and I really feel passionate about what God is calling me to. I'll keep you updated! In the meantime, some beautiful pictures of autumn!

A Powerful Word

Well, God sure did some FANTASTICALLY AMAZING things this weekend! I've been waiting for the state retreat at Ponderosa, in Colorado Springs, since school started in August. This is where I really grew in my faith in my ministry- Christian Challenge- all the way back to freshman year. I will never forget the people, the sights, the fresh air of the mountains, or the lessons learned. Four times I have experienced this amazing retreat, and this weekend was my last. It's so odd to think that, in August, I couldn't wait for October to get here. Now it's here, the weekend is over, and I can think of nothing I'd like to do more than go back. God definitely knew what I needed to hear this weekend. As I prepare to graduate, intern, and be out in the real world, He figured He'd better set me straight first.

The theme this weekend was "A Discussion on Relationships." We, in turn, discussed issues like inner health, how to love ourselves, turning away from the conformity of the world, forgiveness, turning wounds into scars, and the types of relationships needed to maintain good personal health. Randy Shuler was the speaker for the weekend. Basically I'll just type up the notes we took over the weekend.

Inner Health: Loving Ourselves Rightly
Ephesians 3:16-19
Inner strength is essential for:
1. Spiritual intimacy
2. Personal maturity
3. Inner health
"Failure to love ourselves aright, we will love ourselves amiss." -Leanne Payne

When we don't love ourselves, we create personal insecurity. Love turns inward, and then we become engrossed with ourselves and what a mess we all are. God does not call us to self-realization or self-actualization, but to Christ-identification. Christ is in us, and He is the hope of glory, as the book of Colossians reads.

But how do we learn to love ourselves rightly? Good question.
We must 1. Confess failure or self-acceptance as sin; and as long as we are victims, we will continually focus our eyes on subjective feelings, rather than the Savior. Subjective feelings are unreliable.
We must 2. Invoke the presence of Christ. Isaiah 53:5 reminds that "His death for my sin and failure is sufficient!" Time alone with God is key to helping us work through these issues.
We must 3. Replace subjective feelings with God's healing words. Amen! It was recommended that we buy a new journal, read through the Gospels, and write down each promise we come across. Facts will then take place of feelings.
We must 4. Allow the body of Christ to affirm us. This can be done within or outside the church, as long as the body of believers are encouraging one another in love.
We must 5. Commit to radical obedience. RADICAL! Not lukewarm! We're not to downplay any type of sin, because we are slaves to what we obey, even though we should be slaves to righteousness.

Hand Me a Dr. Pepper, Please
Reasons why I don't drink:
1. Appearances. 1 Thessalonians 5:22 says, "Abstain from every form of evil."
2. Want to prevent a potential problem. This is about preventing something before it STARTS.
3. Stumbling block. I don't want to mislead other followers of Christ. Don't cause them to lose focus on the Savior!
4. Barriers. Is there a difference between how Christians vs. non-Christians live TODAY? Look at the ways our society has changed.
5. The high road. There is a difference between good and best. Strive for holiness.
6. Life-wrecker. Help preserve society.
7. Misapplied Scripture. Don't justify how drinking contributes to society.
8. Not necessary! (Pretty self-explanatory.)
9. Moldy-mold. Don't do it just because "everyone else is." Be able to use Christ in your life as an evaluative tool.
10. My [kids, family, friends] who will be (most likely) negatively impacted.

Inner Health: Forgiveness
Boulders are hard things.
People react to stones in different ways: They deny them, hide behind them, or are proud of them.
Boulders become tied to us.

Failure to Forgive
One of the primary problems with a failure to forgive is that it roots us in the past.
Everything you do from this day forward is tied to this grudge! It will define who you are and what you become.
1. Forgiveness does NOT validate harmful or sinful behavior.
2. Forgiveness does NOT minimize the offense or offender.
3. Forgiveness does NOT mean that you intentionally allow other people to continue hurting you.
4. Forgiveness does NOT mean all painful memories are erased.
Jeremiah 31:34 says, "I will forgive their wickedness and will remember their sins no more." God means that He is acting. When the Bible says He forgets, it means He is not going to act.
"I release the one who caused the pain from my desire and/or attempt to bring about justice, judgment, payback, or vengeance." In the book of Romans, God says we are to let HIM be the decider of punishment.

How Do You Forgive an Unforgivable Offense?
Look to the LORD for comfort and healing. -Matthew 11:28
Bring the offense and pain to God and RELEASE it.
The answer is the cross of Christ.
"We can hug our hurts and make a shrine out of our sorrows, or we can offer them to God as a sacrifice of praise. The choice is ours." -Carrol Kent


Inner Health: Turning Wounds Into Scars
1. Release the pain, shame, and blame. Take things back to the Lord and LET THEM GO.
2. Release the "Why" question. Sometimes you won't get an answer. Still ask. Don't get caught up in false accusations.
3. Accept the greater purpose. God does NOT WASTE HURTS! He will use each and every hurt for something good and beautiful.
4. Recognize Jesus. In John 20:19-20, the disciples didn't realize the resurrected Christ was Christ, until He showed them the nail scars in His hands. Sometimes that's what we have to do.


Four Sets of Relationships Essential to Maintaining Personal Health
Oftentimes we assemble fences to surround and protect ourselves from what others think of us. We accept and carry out covert operations to satisfy personal pursuits, even though they don't matter unless they are Christ-driven. We allow isolation and alienation to gain entrance to who we are, and then we push people away.
Set 1: I must run with BELIEVERS. Large groups of people help us to be spiritually alive!
Set 2: I must sit with FRIENDS. Small groups allow us to be real.
Set 3: I must stand with BROTHERS. Submit to a discipler, who can help you speak truth.
Set 4: I must walk with GOD. One to one with God helps me to be a woman of God. Faith is in the Lord.


So all in all, this weekend was phenomenal. Lots of personal struggles and issues that came crashing back like waves, even though I thought they were things that had been resolved. This weekend really showed me things that I need to work on. I didn't buy a new journal, but continued on in the current one I have that is from my mom. I sat down yesterday and began reading through the Gospels, noting each promise I came across. Let me tell you this- if you're struggling, do this. There is nothing better than being lifted high on wings from Christ, to feel loved, cherished, in place. He loves us! What ELSE do we need? Nothing! If He believes in me, I will succeed.