Wednesday, February 1, 2012

Fierce Beauty

I went into Lifeway Christian Bookstore this afternoon and, of course, managed to spend a few hours looking at books. It's not surprising, given I can spend an entire day at Barnes & Noble, scouring the aisles and writing a list of new books I want to read. Sometimes I think it'd be easier to sit in the store and read through books, but it's so much better to prop them up on my shelf when I'm done. My books are my life, my comfort, all I know. They are definitely precious. I ended up buying Fierce Beauty by Kim Meeder, What Women Fear by Angie Smith, Hope for a Troubled Heart by Billy Graham, and Boundaries by Dr. Henry Cloud and John Townshend. I am so excited-- not just because these are books, but books I've been craving to read for some time.

I couldn't help but tell myself that I don't need any more self-help books because I have my own library to choose from, but my mind has been in such bondage for so long that I couldn't help it. Guilty pleasure of reading. I have a whole drawer full of colored highlighters and bright tabs so that when I come across phrases that I like in books, I mark them. I know, so nerdy, right? But it's actually very enriching. I can get everything out of a book that I want, but always have it available-- to look those things over again-- without having to reread the whole book. I've done it for as long as I can remember but the thing is, now I'm doing it for the right reasons. Especially with the Fierce Beauty book.

Here's the synopsis: True beauty is NOT about how you look, but how you LIVE. Women are constantly bombarded with the lie that how we look is far more important than who we are. It's time for a clarion call back to the truth. Journey with gifted storyteller Kim Meeder as she encourages women to see that true value is defined by our Creator and that we have worth of ETERNAL PROPORTIONS. Real beauty isn't a look, it's an ACTION. It can be found by making one crucial, life-defining choice: to lay down personal ambitions and selfish desires, puck up your sword of encouragement, and fight for those who are losing their battle for hope. As you do, fierce beauty is revealed-- along with lasting value, fulfillment, and joy. In Fierce Beauty, Kim shares inspiring stories from her own life of adventure, love, and loss. Through it all, you'll discover life lessons about trust, transformation, surrender, forgiveness, and genuine purpose. Ultimately, life comes down to one question: Will you serve YOURSELF or your KING?

My first thoughts upon reading the back of the book: Hmm. Another self-help book. But really it's not. It's a life book. Yes, it was under the Christian Living section, but never have I read the back of a book that actually compelled me to finally abandon the struggles I've faced for so long with body image, weight, and beauty. Yes, I've lived my life hearing all the quotes about beauty not being about what you look like. I've heard all about "You just need to surrender that issue....." and that's really all people have to say because they can't possibly understand the chemistry and psychology of beauty, what it really means to feel unworthy this way. It's about hearing a story and reading stories from someone who is not preaching on what it's LIKE to maybe be there, but who has BEEN there, through that valley, and knows what it is like. That's why I started to read the book and she writes so compellingly that it's making me ask myself why, after 21 years of life and 12 years of struggle, I'm just now realizing that these things may just be the Truth. Because the Truth comes from the Word, from the King, from my Father, the One who has ALWAYS saved me, again and again, even though I am completely unworthy of saving and of grace and mercy. Praise to God, who has not healed-- for time doesn't heal wounds-- but He is in the process of healing, of providing the revelation that may finally hit me: that Jesus and Jesus alone HAS to be my source of peace and hope.